R.I.P. Jonathan Miller

Last night at 5:30 pm, one of my classmates passed away in a car accident.

I never expected this to happen. Within in the past couple months there have been 5 fatal teen car crashes in Western New York, but never did I expect one to hit so close to home. Even though I didn't know him all that well, the casual little laughs shared in the hallway over the years always stuck. J-Mill was just one of those people that could make anyone smile and laugh, even if you just met him for the first time. He was so nice to everyone he met and had such a bright future ahead of him.

Times like these really make a person think. Time really does expire; nobody lives forever, and it's impossible to know when everything will come to an abrupt end. Teenagers aren't meant to die - we're meant to grow; blossom into thriving adults that shape the world before becoming wizened geezers in swanky retirement homes. We all are born with the right to life. It should not be robbed so prematurely. Never is this deserved by anyone.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that we all need to be thankful for being here. This could have happened to any one of us, and we all know it. We are all blessed with the gift of life, and we need to realize that at any moment it can be taken from us. I think many will realize that now is the time to live life and make the most of it.

Rest in peace J-Mill. We all love you more than you could possibly know.

Junior Schedule 09-10

Surely this is overdue, but I figured while I was up I might as well post my schedule in case anyone decides to click on my blog link on my Facebook....that would definitely be something....

Per 1: Spanish III - Mr. Mango

Per 2: AP English 11 - Mr. Scelsa

Per 3: AP American History - Mrs. D'Anna

Per 4/1: Physics Lab - Mr. Thompson

Per 4/2: PE 11/12

Per 5: Regents Physics - Mr. Thompson

Per 6: AP Statistics - Mr. Ingraham

Per 7: Basic Calculus Honors - Mrs. Mathews

Per 8: Lunch

Per 9: AP Environmental Science - Mr. D'Anna

Back to School....ahhhh!

With about two weeks left of summer vacation, things are guaranteed to take a bit of a crazy spin.

I've ultimately settled back into my procrastination habit, leaving my summer assignment somewhat neglected - Catcher in the Rye almost down, still contemplating whether I'm gonna read Huck Finn, untouched articles, and literary terms left to be memorized - but hey, I've pulled off much worse in the past. Not exactly my biggest concern.

Shopping wasn't exactly intimidating either. Considering most of my teachers didn't even post supply lists, I didn't really have to buy much of anything specific. Generic pens, pencils, notebooks and binders will hopefully suffice.

On top of "taking care of" all of that, I've been hitting the gym pretty hard this past week and a half in preparation for fitness testing. I'll be damned if I get 10 something on that mile again, but whatever happens happens I suppose. At least I'm whipping my ass into some much needed shape after a summer of laziness and moderate depression. But that's a post for another day.

I guess the real root - or should I say "roots" - of my anxiety for this upcoming year are the standardized tests (ACT, SAT, PSAT) and college applications. One can only guess that it would help knowing your major and whether you'd like to travel or not, but I'm still undecided. It feels like I'll never be ready to make that step into adulthood and independence. Although it's a very tempting lifestyle to be dorming on my own, I keep thinking about all the responsibilities and consequences. Which leads back to my original concern - I'm just not ready. Not to mention my lack of preparation for these tests, including the insane amount of money needed for prep classes. I need to handle them on my own it seems. I'm not exactly pumped to see how that turns out, but I guess I'll just have to do my best and hope it's good enough.

And I suppose a certain lingering thought that's been plaguing my mind isn't helping matters much either. As I prepare to enter adulthood, I look back on my childhood and realize that that time in my life is nearly over, and it wasn't well spent in the slightest. Having been battered by family issues beyond explanation and a lack of financial resource resorting in bankruptcy at a young age, I've grown up fairly quickly - in certain ways. I learned the value of a dollar before any of my acquaintances realized that money didn't grow on trees, and I've become the emotional backbone for a family that's been shattered on a quarterly basis. Needless to say life wasn't a walk in the park for me like it's supposed to be for most children.

But enough with the personal sob story and rambling.

With all of this going on in my mind on a daily basis, there's no question as to why these next two weeks before school are bound to take a bit of a crazy spin.

Oh so very tired...

Damn my freaking ADD tendencies.

Once again, I pulled an all-nighter just because I couldn't get my lazy ass in gear. What a shocker.

I think I ended up in bed by 4:30, but I'm not totally sure. My mind was shut down by around three. And of course, that wasn't the worst part.

Fourth period today I was graced with the knowledge that my outline was going to be collected tomorrow. My teacher forgot to collect them in one of her earlier classes.

A little piece of me died when I heard that.

Admittedly, I wasn't working on my outline the whole time. As evident in my last post, procrastination is a regular part of my life.

But still. Low blow.

And now I need to go take a nap and think of a positive topic to blog about next time.

What the hell am I doing up so late?

Why?

Ok. So yeah. It's 2:34AM, on a school night, and here I am writing a blog entry. I guess you can call it a distraction or whatever, but it's stupid. I get it.

Damn my procrastination.

I do this every time. I really don't know why, but I do. I get an assignment a week (maybe even two) in advance and I wait until the midnight before it's due to actually start it.

And here we are.

My social homework is plopped comfortably on my bed while database articles on the pros and cons of young adult literature are scattered across my already cluttered desk. I have Inspiration conveniently hidden in the taskbar while I type away in this here blog. Which brings us back to my original question.

Why?

Why must I do this to myself every damn time? Because I can pull it off. And it's times like these when I wish just one time, one little bitty time, that I fail. Maybe then I'll stop posting pointless blog entries in the middle of the night and get my homework done in advance.

Problem solved.